The Shocking Truth About Ramsey Read online

  It was carnal, hot, wet, and desperate. She felt it when his back hit up against the wall and then something fell when she wrapped her legs around his waist. They were moving, but she didn’t care. Her lips never left his. She was devouring him and he was letting her. She couldn’t get enough of his breath. Her mouth fastened over his. He gave her his tongue. She closed in on it and sucked hard. The groan that rumbled through his chest came at the same time they hit the floor.

  This was even better. He was beneath her, all of him; and she felt heady with power and arousal. She tore at his shirt until her hands rubbed against his hot flesh. She heard a deep sigh and was shocked to realize the sound came from her. She felt Jackson’s big hands on her butt and she wiggled against them, wishing with all her heart that she was naked as the day she was born. She wanted those hands on her skin.

  “What the blue blazes!”

  It was not the voice of the weak old man she had talked to on the phone. Jackson and Ramsey almost did each other bodily harm trying to get to their feet.

  “Yall done knocked my pictures off the wall and turned over my table. Ramsey! Your doctors bag and the stuff in it is scattered everywhere. Jackson you standing there with your clothes ripped to shreds. What in God’s name is wrong with you two!!?”

  Ramsey was so embarrassed she couldn’t speak. Jackson was too dazed and aroused to think. Maximus was truly outraged and disgusted.

  He continued, “Ramsey! I cannot believe you would let him touch you after I told you he was seeing another woman.”

  Jackson snapped to attention at this false accusation. “Granddad, you know I have been right here in this house the whole time,” he yelled.

  “I know that, Jackson, but Ramsey didn’t know that.”

  Jackson and Ramsey stared at Maximus like he had gone senile. Both were trying to be respectful, but it was clear they were upset.

  “Look, I’m just an old man, but I still got ears that hear and eyes that see. Yall help me back to bed. I thought you two were fighting and I come in here and see some x-rated stuff going on right in my living room, while I’m wide awake and in the middle of the day. Lord have mercy, times done changed. Ramsey, I just can’t believe you.”

  “Leave her alone, granddad,” Jackson said through gritted teeth. It was clear that Ramsey was polarized with embarrassment. She was stiff in her movements and all that sexual aura that had surrounded her when she knocked on the door was long gone. She was gathering up her medical supplies and looking very upset. Jackson had to diffuse the situation and he had no idea how to do that without getting rough with Maximus, which he was not about to do even though he deserved it. Jackson should have known that Maximus would meddle. He was secretly glad he did. That kiss was one he would never forget. Ramsey was hot. He wanted her. He needed her.

  “Uh, Ramsey. I’m going to put granddad back in bed and then I will leave you alone to examine him and do whatever you need to do. I will be in, uh, my room when you finish. Just call me when you are ready to talk about him.”

  “Thank you, Jackson. I’ll call when I’m, uh, ready to talk about Mr. Maximus,” she said.

  Ramsey, even though embarrassed, could not stop the throbbing of her arousal. Just the sight of Jackson was a distraction. She stood in the doorway and waited for him to help Maximus into the bed. She watched how gentle he was with his grandfather. She couldn’t help but look at his hands. They were big and well-manicured. His nails were neat and clean and cut to the edge of his skin. The front of his shirt was torn and her face burned with embarrassment when she looked at it. Maximus had looked at them like they were animals.

  Ramsey saw Jackson coming towards her as he prepared to leave the room. She flattened herself against the frame of the door so as not to touch him or even feel the warmth of his body. He stopped right in front of her and practically leaned his whole body against hers. His lips came down over hers and he kissed her open-mouthed, tongue and all right in front of Maximus.

  His lips slid to her right ear and he whispered, “I told you we weren’t done, didn’t I? You and me, baby girl. You and me.” He pushed off the wall and left her with the heat of his body echoing against hers, his breath trailing along the recesses of her ear, and his words ricochetting along all the dumb-woman neurons of her brain.

  When her vision cleared, she stared right into Maximus face. His eyes were wide, bright and attentive. He stared right back at her and then he said, “What he say?”

  Ramsey laughed so hard, she thought she would choke. When she got her composure she shook her head at him and then thought better of it and shook her finger at him.

  “Shame on you, you nosey old thang you. I imagine there is nothing in the world wrong with you, but a grandson named Jackson.”

  “I don’t want you to make him happy. I want you to marry him, girl.”

  Ramsey laughed again, but her heart had just jumped into her throat. She remembered her man-hating momma saying that a man would never pay for something he could get free and that a man would never marry a woman who he already had.

  Ramsey stopped laughing and looked at Maximus again. He raised his eyebrows and nodded his head as if he had just heard each and every one of her thoughts.

  #

  Talmus didn’t know whether he was in hell or heaven. His mother and father both were staying at his house and neither was in any hurry to leave. Two nights ago Pam had shown up in the middle of the night with her eyes swollen from crying. Herby had taken one look at her and taken her to his bedroom and they hadn’t come out until late the next day.

  Talmus noticed immediately that something was different when they finally came out to eat lunch. Pam had changed. She was not the woman he had grown up knowing as his mother. She almost seemed like a broken doll. Talmus was worried. Herbert was obviously worried too, but he was doing an effective, if not somewhat clumsy, job of hiding it.

  Pam liked Talmus sunroom that faced south and was located at the back of the house. It was a room of glass with glass walls and a glass ceiling. It was state of the art and had cost Talmus a huge sum of money to have it built. It was the room he loved most. No matter what time of day he chose to relax in it, a welcoming and calming view met him. In the mornings he would watch the sun rise with its reflection mirrored on the small lake in his backyard. At night, he’d be seduced by the stars and the moon reflected on the lake as well. The temperature in the room was modulated by heated floors in the winter and central air in the summer.

  The colors he had decorated the room in were warm colors of brown, dark greens, and ivory. There was no need for pictures because the view of the outdoors was the best. The only wood wall was the one that flanked the actual house and on either side of two glass doors were floor to ceiling shelves of books. Brass lamps and thick and plush recliners of varying colors furnished the room.

  It was a naturalistic, manly, and intellectual sunroom. His mother liked it and would be found there, if she wasn’t in bed asleep. She would stand before the glass and just watch nature silently. She didn’t have much to say to Herby or to Talmus. She slept in Herby’s room every night. Talmus shrugged his shoulders. His assumption was that the longest separation in history was over and done with. They were together again.

  Talmus didn’t know how to feel about it. He decided to wait until later to mull over it. For right now, his main concern was his mother’s emotional state. Something had happened that night she had come to his house. He was tired of guessing when it came to his mom and he was not going to play detective anymore either. He knew most of her secrets and had done some damage control for her, but he was done with all of that.

  Finding out the circumstances behind his father’s exit from their lives had enraged him and he would not be an enabler for his mother ever again. He couldn’t help but worry, but worrying wasn’t doing any good. He needed answers and if Herby wasn’t going to ask her any questions, well he would.

  Just as he thought, she was in the sunroom. Talmus walked up behind he
r and put his hands on her shoulders. She didn’t move.

  “Momma, tell me,” he said.

  “How did you find out about Cassandra,” she asked quietly.

  Talmus wasn’t surprised. He had hoped this was what was upsetting her. He was ready for this.

  “I went looking for my birth certificate and found Cassandra’s birth certificate stuck to Ramsey’s” he said simply.

  The shoulders beneath his hand stiffened.

  “I glued the edges together thinking to hide it in plain site and that as long as I kept up with Ramsey’s birth certificate, I would keep up with Cassandra’s” she whispered.

  “I hired a detective after that,” he confessed.

  “Why,” she asked.

  “I needed to understand why you hated me. I wanted to know why our lives had to be so dark and small. The only way to find out was to know your past. I knew you couldn’t have been born this way. I…I just….I just had to know what was making you hurt so bad.”

  The room was so silent. Talmus took his hands off her shoulders, but stayed close. He could feel the warmth from her body. His little bitty mother was so full of emotions. She was so packed full of something terrible that she couldn’t do like other people, like normal people, and shift the hurtful emotions to make room for healthy emotions.

  Her voice came into the silence like a rusty nail breaking through rotted wood.

  “I don’t. I don’t, Talmus. I don’t hate you. I love you with…..” her hands fluttered up and away from her side in desperation and then she dropped them back against her side, “with…..everything,” she continued.

  Talmus splintered. She loved him. He didn’t know how much he wanted to hear it until she said it.

  Pam couldn’t understand why everything was hurting her so badly. To hear her grown son say that she, his own mother, hated him was a stunning blow that hurt badly. She had to stop herself from bending over and keening with it. It wasn’t just that it was not true, but the fact that her baby boy had felt like she didn't love him. She had hurt him. What could she do now? How do you give love to a child who was no longer a child, but a grown man? How do you convince him? How do you make it right?

  “What did you find out, Talmus?”

  “I found out about Cassandra. You covered yourself very well, Momma. All the detective could uncover was Cassandra’s existence and where she lived. He could not find out anything else about you,” Talmus said softly. He didn’t want to break the fragile line of communication, but he knew it was now or never. She had to open up to someone. He was the one.

  CHAPTER 19

  Her admission of love was costing him. Talmus was losing the ground he had built for himself over the years. He had stopped being vulnerable years ago, but as he waited to hear his mother's story, old fears and feelings of inadequacy haunted him and crept up on him. Pam turned suddenly and put her right hand over his heart. She let it lay there and said nothing. They were cloaked in silence and there was a palpable tension pulling them closer instead of apart.

  Pam could feel her son's heart beating fast against her palm. It gave her strength. He was alive, he was before her and he was ready to listen. That's all she needed. It was her story to tell. It was her mess to clean up. It was her amends to make. Listening ears and opened hearts were her chance. She let her hand slide away and she lifted her eyes to his. Talmus didn't blink or look away. He still loved her and wanted her in his life. That was enough. That was success and it was everything.

  "Do you mind if your father comes in here? I want him to hear what I have to say too. He deserves to know the truth."

  "I'll get him," Talmus said. He hated to leave and was almost morbidly afraid that Pam would slip away. She was completely here right now, in body, mind, and more importantly, heart. He could feel it. He wanted her to stay. He needed her to stay. He left the room sedately, but as soon as he was out of her sight, he ran. He made it up the stairs in seconds and banged on Herby's door. When Herby opened the door, Talmus was almost unintelligible in his attempt to quickly explain.

  "She's asking for you. She wants to talk about it now!"

  Herby didn't need anymore explanation than that. He didn't say a word as he followed Talmus down the stairs and into the sunroom. Talmus didn't let his face show the relief he felt at finding her standing in the same spot, but he was weak with it. He was surprised when Pam quickly took control of the room by speaking.

  "Let's all sit down. Talmus do you have any brandy or something we could drink?"

  Herby didn't bother hiding his shock. He had never seen Pam drink alcohol in his life. He knew she must really have something heavy on her mind. Talmus uncorked a new bottle and poured a splash into each small glass. He gave Pam hers first and then handed one to Herby, before picking up his own glass. Everybody had a small glass of brandy in their hands and was sitting down when Pam began to talk.

  "I killed my father," she said with very little emotion.

  "Okay," Herby said slowly. His hand gripped the small glass in reaction to his wife's confession. He always knew Pam had some pretty dark secrets. She was prone to nightmares and had said enough in her sleep to give him an idea of the real-life horrors she had lived through.

  "My mother helped me bury him. We told everyone that he had left and never come back. He was a bad man and so no one asked any questions. That was just the end of it," she said. Her shoulders raised and dropped in a peculiar shrug that was totally out of place with the wild story she was telling. She tipped the glass of brandy to her lips and swallowed it all in one swig. Talmus could swear he heard it land in her stomach. The room was completely silent. He was thankful for Herby's presence. This was too much for him to handle alone. His eyes slid from Pam to his father.

  "I had two babies by him. I killed the first one. It was a boy. I thought it would be easy," she stopped talking.

  Both men watched in painful silence as she broke down. Her body shook with the violence of pent up dark emotions. Like a sponge she shrank and then expanded over and over again as she sucked in and let out gut-wrenching sobs.

  "I...I..oh God, I couldn't kill the next one. Sh... She looked so much like me," she whispered. "So, I gave her to momma. Then..that man...he... he tried again and I was ready for him. I stabbed him. M..m...momma couldn't even tell it was him. I mutilated him." She stopped talking again and just sat with her hands resting in her lap still wrapped around the empty glass. Her head was bowed and she sobbed with tears running down her face, under her chin and down her neck.

  "Oh my God," Talmus wheezed. He felt like he was going to be sick.

  Herby saw the question in Talmus eyes and shook his head," no." He had never known this part of Pam's history. If he ever doubted his love for her before, he now knew it for what it was. He loved her. He felt rage, disgust, and hate toward the man who had done this to her. Even though it had been her father, the man whose seed had given her life, Herby cursed that very seed. Better she had not been born than to come into the world to be abused to the point that she had to kill.

  "Leave us alone, Talmus," Herby said.

  "What?" Talmus did not want to leave Pam in the state she was in. Plus, they had to discuss Cassandra. He wondered if Herby knew about Cassandra. He was about to ask him, when Herby looked him in the eyes.

  "Leave the house, Talmus. This is not just a simple confession. This is much more. She’s unraveling. One step at a time, son. Once Pam and I talk it out, we will be ready to talk to you and Ramsey. Give us a few days. I will call you, but for right now get what you need and GET OUT. Do it NOW not LATER!"

  Talmus jumped out of his chair. His body was shaking. He could see clearly what Pam's confession had done to Herby. There was more to his father than he had yet given him credit for. The man's eyes were glazed over with tears. He had healed fast from the gunshot, but Talmus knew that a man who really loved a woman couldn't be whole while she was broken. Herby was in just as much pain as Pam. Talmus felt his heart breaking for them both. Toge
ther their stories were so sad and tragic. He nodded and walked over to his mother and picked her bodily up out of the chair. He tried to give her all of his love in one hug. She sobbed into his neck and held on to him and then patted his shoulder to let him know he could put her down. He sat her back in her chair and looked at Herby for a second or two before he bent down and put a hand on both of his father's shoulders.

  "I will pray like I have never prayed before in my life. I will pray," he said and left the room.

  When they were finally alone, Talmus stood up and walked over to where Pam sat. He got down on his knees before her and put his big hands around hers. She stiffened at his touch, but did not recoil or move away.

  "Pam, look at me." Talmus voice was a soft plea and held a load of emotion.

  Pam couldn't look up. She didn't want his or anyone's pity, but least of all his. She just wanted these people she loved to know the whole truth about her. She wanted her secrets out and bare before them. She wanted them to understand why she was so dysfunctional. She didn't want pity. She wanted the truth. If her children and this loving man kneeling before her had her truth, then they could move on and know that it was never them, but always her. They were all each and every one of them perfect, but she wasn't. If she had made them feel less than human and inadequate, she had committed a crime. They deserved so much better. As these thoughts tumbled around in her head, she became even more tearful. She could not stop the gulping sobs.

  Talmus was being torn apart. This was the one and only woman he had given his heart to. She was the mother of his children. He had left her without finding out what was behind all of her anger. He had an idea all along that something terrible and dark was below the surface, but he had not been man enough to stick around to find out. The minute things got ugly for him, he had left. He had rationalized his guilt away by paying her bills and giving money, when this woman needed his soul. Had he not made a vow before God that he would protect her, cherish her, and love her as his own body? She was just a woman after all; not a monster; not an eater of men; and not strong. She had needed him and he had abandoned her.